How a mathematician writes love letters

My Dear Love,

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in
trigonometric lane.
There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical
nose and spherical
eyes, standing in your triangular garden.

Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a
vector of magnitude
(likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of t radians
made a tangent to my
heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real
roots, which only you can
solve by making good binary relation with me. The
cosine of my love for you
extends to infinity. I promise that I should not
resolve you into partial
functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by
applying the limits from
zero to infinity.

You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The
geometry of my life
revolves around your acute personality. My love, if
you do not meet me at
parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun
will be making an
angle of 160 degrees with our horizon, my heart would
be like a solved
polynomial of degree 10.

With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima
and minima, of an
unknown function.

Yours ever loving,

PythagoraS

Forgetful Actor

There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.

The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say theline 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'"

The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he's practicing his line over and over again.

Finally, the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and using just one finger he delivered the line, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."

The theatre erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming!

"You bloody fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!"

The actor was bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?"

"No!" screamed the director. "You forgot the rose!"

Blind Dog

A blind man was seen waiting at a street corner with his guide dog. After a short wait the dog started leading the blind man across the street against the red light.

First a car comes screeching to a halt inches away from him, but still the dog leads on, then a bicyclist almost wipes them out and curses as he goes by. Finally in the last lane a truck swerves and barely misses them.

After they reach the far corner the blind man reaches in his pocket and pulls out a cookie and offers it to the guide dog. At this point another person who has watched the entire episode interrupts asking why he was rewarding the dog after the dog had endangered his life and almost got him run over by a car, bicycle and truck.

The blind man responded: "I'm not rewarding him, I'm just trying to find out which end is his head so I can kick him in the ass."